The White House Mess: While his wife Melania sat smiling with President Barack Obama at Barbara Bush’s funeral in Texas, President Trump was back at what he called “the Southern White House” yesterday in Florida tweeting away his grievances.

Former FBI Director James Comey, who’s on tour selling his book, has really gotten under the President’s skin. Trump tweeted, “James Comey illegally leaked classified documents to the press in order to generate a Special Council? Therefore, the Special Council was established based on an illegal act? Really, does everybody know what that means?”

That’s spelled “counsel,” Mr. President. Also, the Russia thing is so last week. The real threat to Trump now may be his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, who’s on the legal ropes. Trump tweeted, “The New York Times and a third rate reporter named Maggie Haberman, known as a Crooked H flunkie who I don’t speak to and have nothing to do with, are going out of their way to destroy Michael Cohen and his relationship with me in the hope that he will ‘flip.’ They use non-existent ‘sources’”

Haberman wrote a story about how badly Trump has insulted and mistreated Cohen over the years, quoting recognizable sources by name.

There is a lot of talk that if pinched by the feds, Cohen will turn on Trump. Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for porn actress Stormy Daniels who plays the Trump game maybe even better than Trump, said Friday night on Real Time With Bill Maher , “I think that Michael Cohen knows where almost all the bodies are buried, and I think that he’s going to sing like a canary.” Avenatti continued, “I know he’s going to fold, because here’s the problem, when you have a fixer, you need two things at least: you need a guy who is tough, and you need a guy that is smart. This guy is neither tough nor smart. I think he’s a zero.”

With Cohen sidelined, Trump has turned to another legal genius for advice … Rocky Balboa, lobbying for a long-dead boxer. Trump tweeted, “Sylvester Stallone called me with the story of heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson. His trials and tribulations were great, his life complex and controversial. Others have looked at this over the years, most thought it would be done, but yes, I am considering a Full Pardon!”

Jack Johnson was convicted in 1913 of taking his white girlfriend across state lines and he was sent to prison. Considering a pardon is nice, but is this what Trump is doing in the midst of crisis?

Adrian! Adrian!

The Nuclear Card Game: President Trump called Kim Jong-un’s declaration that he would stop nuclear testing “progress” and “good news.” But The Washington Post reports that, “Behind the scenes, however, his aides cautioned Saturday that Kim’s statement that the North would halt testing and shutter one nuclear facility was more notable for what he left out: a direct pledge to work toward nuclear disarmament.”

That’s what the US wants, but having nuclear weapons is what makes Kim a power to reckon with. Without them he’s just a tin pot dictator who starves his people. Kim could be luring Trump into a direct meeting with no intention of disarming.

The Lady With Character: First Lady Barbara Bush was buried in Texas yesterday after a funeral attended by her large extended family and former presidents, including her own son George.

While known for having a biting sense of humor, she was remembered as a firm hand both in family matters and in politics. “She called her style a benevolent dictatorship,” son Jeb said, “but honestly it wasn’t always benevolent.”

Mrs. Bush’s pastor, the Rev. Russell J. Levenson Jr., told about a day when he and Mrs. Bush walked on the beach in Kennebunkport, Me. “Barbara was washing off her own shoes, and a fellow came up to her and said, ‘Hey, you look a lot like Barbara Bush,’” Levenson told the audience. “Without missing a beat, Barbara just said, ‘Yes, I hear that a lot.’”

In the People’s Republic: Plastic grocery bags are already illegal in Los Angeles. Now, the City of Malibu is moving to ban single-use plastic straws, utensils and stirrers to reduce trash in the environment. Restaurants and other businesses have until June 1 to swap out plastic for reusable and biodegradable straws and cutlery.

Restaurateur Bob Morris, who owns the popular Paradise Cove, is going to pasta straws. He told NPR “Once you’re done using it you can just eat it, cook it or throw for compost.”

The Obit Page: Actor Verne Troyer, who played Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movie franchise, has died at age 49. Troyer was born with dwarfism and was only 2’-8” tall, but he had a good career in movies and television.

No cause of death was given, but Troyer had struggled with alcoholism and was rushed to the hospital April 2^nd with what was described as a “poisoning.” A family statement said, “Depression and Suicide are very serious issues. You never know what kind of battle someone is going through inside.”

Hot Pastrami: New York firefighters overnight put out a fire at the famed Katz’s Deli on Houston Street. They were seen leaving with sandwiches.

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