“No improper contacts,” Shark Weak

Unsworn Testimony: The NY Times reports this morning that Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner will tell Congress he did not collude with the Russians, according to his statement prepared for a special hearing.

Kushner’s statement says, “I had no improper contacts. I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government.”

Kushner, Donald Trump Jr., and former campaign chairman Paul Manafort are all scheduled starting today to testify privately before Congressional committees investigating the Russia connection, but not under oath.

The three managed to escape sworn public testimony, but it’s still a crime to lie to Congress.

Kushner’s people say he will tell Congressional investigators that he arrived late at a June 2016 meeting with a Russian lawyer offering dirt on Hillary Clinton and was so uninterested in the conversation that he e-mailed his assistant asking for help getting out.

Kushner will admit that he did set up a line of communication with the Russian government after the election as part of routine establishment of relations with foreign governments.

Fake President: President Trump played golf at his club in Virginia yesterday then retired to the confines of the White House, evidently feeling neglected, persecuted, and unappreciated.

He was up early this morning tweeting, “Drain the Swamp should be changed to Drain the Sewer – it’s actually much worse than anyone ever thought, and it begins with the Fake News!” He didn’t say what fake news he was referring to.

Last night he wrote, “If Republicans don’t Repeal and Replace the disastrous ObamaCare, the repercussions will be far greater than any of them understand.”

Trump had a lot on his mind, most of it having nothing to do with leading the country. “As the phony Russian Witch Hunt continues,” he tweeted, “two groups are laughing at this excuse for a lost election taking hold, Democrats and Russians!” He also wrote, “It’s very sad that Republicans, even some that were carried over the line on my back, do very little to protect their President.”

It’s true that few Republicans are stepping up to defend Trump, but it’s also true that few are denouncing him, even when he deserves it.

Sanctions: The White House announced the President will sign the Congressional sanctions bill targeting Russia, despite the President’s frequently-announced desire to improve relations with Vladimir Putin “We support where the legislation is now, and will continue to work with the House and Senate to put those tough sanctions in place on Russia until the situation in Ukraine is fully resolved,” Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said yesterday on ABC.

“Hello”, He Lied: The new White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci quickly expunged his record, deleting from his Twitter account posts praising Hillary Clinton, gun control, and trashing Donald Trump. “Mooch,” as he’s called, is a political chameleon willing to say anything. And he did. “I’m very, very loyal to the president. I love the mission that the president has,” he said in a public outpouring of bro-love.

Speaking yesterday to Jake Tapper on CNN about Russian election tampering and email hacking, Scaramucci said, “Somebody said to me yesterday, I won’t tell you who, that if Russians actually hacked this situation and spilled out those emails, you would have never seen it. You would have never had any evidence of them. Meaning that they’re super confident in their deception skills and hacking.”

When pressed on who told him that, Scaramucci admitted it was President Trump.

Columnist Maureen Dowd wrote for the NY Times,” President Trump has finally found a courtier who can give him the buttery, boundless respect he craves.” She continued, “A wealthy mini-me Manhattan bro with wolfy smile and slick coif who will say anything and flip any position. A self-promoter extraordinaire and master salesman who doesn’t mind pushing a bad product — and probably sees it as more fun.”

Wheel Man: British rider Chris Froome won his third straight Tour de France yesterday, his fourth overall. The win puts Froome one away from joining the club of five-time winners Jacque Anquetil, Eddie Merckx, Bernard Hinaut and Miguel Indurain. Of course, that’s not to mention Lance Armstrong, whose seven wins were eliminated for doping.

Shark Weak: Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps lost his race with a Great White shark just by a hair, causing outrage on social media. The shark and Phelps raced separately, but Phelps was shown with the shark superimposed on the video image, making it look like they were in the water together.

The race was staged to kick off Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week.” A lot of viewers thought Phelps and the shark would be side by side, which tells you something about the demographics of Shark Week.

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Friday, November 24, 2017

Page Two

Jaw Meet Floor

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

The Small President

Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Cuba Diaries

Sunday, March 13, 2016

An Alphabet of Maladies

Friday, February 26, 2016

The Healthcare Confusion Act

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Freedom from Speech

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Too Big to Fire

Friday, June 19, 2015

More Probable Than Not

Thursday, May 14, 2015

It's Been Said

"One of the things that actually Trump has benefited from is that, on a daily if not hourly basis, there are things he says that you could never have imagined any other American president -- left, right, up or down -- saying, and they kind of bleed into each other. And you sort of forget, 'Oh, yes, 72 hours ago, he said this...'"

-Jeff Greenfield on CNN’s "Reliable Sources"

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