Buy Apple Stuff and Get Rich

I plan to buy the new iPad 3 and it’s going to make me rich.  Here’s how. I already own a Macbook, an iPhone, an iPod and I used to own an iPad. More about that later. But I’ve also bought Macs, iPhones and iPods for my wife and kids. I’ve sunk a lot of money into “i” stuff.

Then I read an article that mentioned a man who said that if he had only put the same amount of money into Apple stock as he had Apple electronics he would have more money and the Apple stuff too.

A little over a year ago I bought the original iPad and I noticed Apple stock went up. Then the iPad 2 had come out only months later and you can imagine my frustration. Within days I had friends whose fingers were moving at lightening speed over the faster and sleeker iPad 2. But not only that, the stock went up too. I was such a chump.

Last fall I bought one of my daughters an iPhone and of course you know what happened to the stock. So I bought some Apple stock and then bought my other daughter an iPhone. My stock went up again.

I then bought even more stock which I think triggered an anticipation on Wall Street that I was going to buy another Apple gadget and the stock kept rising. So I bought more stock.

In January I got on an airplane to New York and left my first generation iPad on my seat and never saw it again. I’m sure some airline employee or another passenger made off with it thinking, wow, they’ve got an iPad. But it was an iPad 1, a year old. How pathetic is that?

But it doesn’t matter because now I have Apple stock and I’m up by almost 50%. I am that guy who made enough money on Apple stock to pay for all his Apple toys.

Within a year I’m going to need the next generation iPhone. Cha-ching. My daughter is heading off to college and she’ll have to have a new Macbook. My wife is going to want an iPhone. Every Apple gizmo I buy is just money in my pocket.

So that’s why I can’t wait to buy the iPad 3. My stock will go up even more. I’ll keep the iPad 3 a few months then leave it on a park bench or a restaurant table just in time to buy the iPad 4 about six months later. I’m going to make a killing on Apple.

-30-

Friday, April 26, 2024

Page Two

The Most Corrupt Justice

Monday, October 2, 2023

Democracy and Video in the Dark

Sunday, February 26, 2023

Page Two: Do the Right Thing

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Page Two: Sound Recall

Monday, September 13, 2021

Page Two: Cuomo Must Go

Friday, August 13, 2021

Trump and the Truth

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

The “Great” President

Monday, March 30, 2020

The Wright Stuff

Saturday, February 29, 2020

It's Been Said

"In my mind, I’ve never crossed the line with anyone, but I didn’t realize the extent to which the line has been redrawn. There are generational and cultural shifts that I just didn’t fully appreciate, and I should have, no excuses."

-Andrew Cuomo, resigning as governor of New York after accusations of sexual harassment

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