Buy Apple Stuff and Get Rich

I plan to buy the new iPad 3 and it’s going to make me rich.  Here’s how. I already own a Macbook, an iPhone, an iPod and I used to own an iPad. More about that later. But I’ve also bought Macs, iPhones and iPods for my wife and kids. I’ve sunk a lot of money into “i” stuff.

Then I read an article that mentioned a man who said that if he had only put the same amount of money into Apple stock as he had Apple electronics he would have more money and the Apple stuff too.

A little over a year ago I bought the original iPad and I noticed Apple stock went up. Then the iPad 2 had come out only months later and you can imagine my frustration. Within days I had friends whose fingers were moving at lightening speed over the faster and sleeker iPad 2. But not only that, the stock went up too. I was such a chump.

Last fall I bought one of my daughters an iPhone and of course you know what happened to the stock. So I bought some Apple stock and then bought my other daughter an iPhone. My stock went up again.

I then bought even more stock which I think triggered an anticipation on Wall Street that I was going to buy another Apple gadget and the stock kept rising. So I bought more stock.

In January I got on an airplane to New York and left my first generation iPad on my seat and never saw it again. I’m sure some airline employee or another passenger made off with it thinking, wow, they’ve got an iPad. But it was an iPad 1, a year old. How pathetic is that?

But it doesn’t matter because now I have Apple stock and I’m up by almost 50%. I am that guy who made enough money on Apple stock to pay for all his Apple toys.

Within a year I’m going to need the next generation iPhone. Cha-ching. My daughter is heading off to college and she’ll have to have a new Macbook. My wife is going to want an iPhone. Every Apple gizmo I buy is just money in my pocket.

So that’s why I can’t wait to buy the iPad 3. My stock will go up even more. I’ll keep the iPad 3 a few months then leave it on a park bench or a restaurant table just in time to buy the iPad 4 about six months later. I’m going to make a killing on Apple.

-30-

Friday, November 24, 2017

Page Two

Jaw Meet Floor

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

The Small President

Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Cuba Diaries

Sunday, March 13, 2016

An Alphabet of Maladies

Friday, February 26, 2016

The Healthcare Confusion Act

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Freedom from Speech

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Too Big to Fire

Friday, June 19, 2015

More Probable Than Not

Thursday, May 14, 2015

It's Been Said

"One of the things that actually Trump has benefited from is that, on a daily if not hourly basis, there are things he says that you could never have imagined any other American president -- left, right, up or down -- saying, and they kind of bleed into each other. And you sort of forget, 'Oh, yes, 72 hours ago, he said this...'"

-Jeff Greenfield on CNN’s "Reliable Sources"

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