Trump Gives Self an “A”:  In a long, rambling press conference yesterday, President Trump declared that “This administration is running like a fine- tuned machine,” and “We have made incredible progress. I don’t think there’s ever been a president elected who in this short period of time has done what we’ve done.”

This came at the end of a month in which his immigration order was blocked by the courts, his nominee for Labor Secretary couldn’t get Senate approval, and he had to fire his National Security Advisor Michael Flynn.

Just yesterday the retired Adm. Robert Harward, who Trump picked to replace Flynn, declined the job.

Still begging praise for winning the election, Trump claimed the biggest Electoral College Victory since Ronald Reagan. In fact there have been 45 elections in which the winner had a wider margin than Trump. He repeatedly mentioned Hillary Clinton, as though he’s still running against her.

“To be honest, I inherited a mess, a mess, at home and abroad, a mess,” Trump claimed.

Trump at times was dismissive and rude. He waved off stories about his campaign aides being in conduct with Russian intelligence before the election. “And, you know, you can talk all you want about Russia, which was all a, you know, fake news, fabricated deal, to try and make up for the loss of the Democrats and the press plays right into it,” the President said.

“It’s all fake news. It’s all fake news.” He didn’t say what, if anything, was false or fake about reporting on his administration in recent days.

Trump complained that the tone of the news has become hatred. Interestingly, he said, “I never get phone calls from the media,” as if he is still sitting behind his desk in Trump Tower. He will now.

Truer Words: Trump said during his press conference, “Tomorrow, the headlines are going to be, ‘Donald Trump rants and raves.’”

Today, the headlines and commentators are saying Trumped ranted and raved.

Permanent Campaign: The President plans to hold his first campaign rally of the 2020 election season, tomorrow in an airplane hangar in Melbourne, Fla.

Miss Us?: Thousands of immigrant workers, many employed by restaurants, stayed home from work yesterday closing thousands of restaurants and businesses to show how vital their labor is to the economy. Like a rave party, word about the action spread on Facebook and the WhatsApp messaging service. Even at the Pentagon,  Sbarro’s, Starbucks and Taco Bell all were closed.

Permawar: A bombing at a Shiite shrine in Pakistan yesterday killed 70 people and wounded 250 more. The Islamic State has taken credit. There’s been a wave of attacks in Pakistan this week.

The Obit Page: Nicole Bass, a former professional wrestler, bodybuilder, and a member of Howard Stern’s radio “Wack Pack” has died at ag 52. Bass’s partner Kristen Marrone said Bass fell suddenly ill and never recovered. She didn’t give details.

According to our Howard Stern stringer, “Nicole was one of my very favorite Wack Packers. She was honest and sweet and hilarious.”

Bass was massively muscled and had a deep voice. Her sexual identity was somewhat vague. Once while on the air she showed her vagina to Stern’s sidekick Robin Quivers who later said, “I don’t know what I saw.”

Directly to Jail: The makers of the Monopoly board game infamously got rid of the clothes iron playing piece in 2013 and now they are doing away with the thimble. If they make a cellphone playing piece, we’re done.

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