Penn and El Chapo, Patriot Shopping List

Fame and Fortune: Actor Sean Penn secretly met with the notorious drug dealer “El Chapo” while he was on the lam and interviewed the fugitive for Rolling Stone Magazine. The craggy-faced actor is seen in a picture shaking El Chapo’s hand.

Although he had previously described himself as a farmer, the billionaire drug trafficker whose real name is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, admitted to Penn that, “I supply more heroin, methamphetamine, cocaine and marijuana than anybody else in the world. I have a fleet of submarines, airplanes, trucks and boats.”

While US and Mexican authorities were beating the bushes to find Guzmán after his elaborate prison escape, Rolling Stone found him. Penn was accompanied on the interview by a beautiful Mexican actress who once played a drug kingpin and is said to have brokered the meeting.

El Chapo’s empire was built on a stack of bodies, but he told Penn, “Look, all I do is defend myself, nothing more. But do I start trouble? Never.”

The Interview was said to have been conducted in a jungle clearing on a mountaintop. Penn wrote that Guzmán was interested in making a movie about his own life. Mexican authorities said the movie contacts Guzmán made contributed to finding him.

But Penn writes in his article that while Guzmán is interested in the movie business, “He’s unimpressed with its financial yield.”

Cold War: The US Flew a B-52 bomber over South Korea today showing nuclear might in an escalation of chest bumping with the North. It’s a response to North Korea’s bomb test. Adm. Harry B. Harris Jr., of the U.S. Pacific Command said in a statement. “North Korea’s nuclear test is a blatant violation of its international obligations.”

The South has also turned on its giant array of loudspeakers, once again broadcasting propaganda to the North, which has never reacted well to having someone shouting in its ear.

Pitch Imperfect: A German lawyer says that at least 231 children who were part of a boys’ choir were physically and sexually abused over a period of 40 years, 30 years of which it was under the direction of Pope Benedict XVI’s brother, Rev. Georg Ratzinger. Lawyer Ulrich Weber, who was commissioned by the choir to investigate, said Ratzinger likely knew what was happening. “After my research, I must assume so,” Weber said.

But Think of the Taxes: No one held a winning number for last night’s Powerball lottery, which grew to $950 million by the time of the drawing. The pot starts at $1.3 billion for next week’s draw.

N$L: National football league owners are considering applications by the San Diego Chargers, Oakland Raiders, and St. Louis (formerly Los Angeles) Rams to move to Los Angeles. In a report to the 32 teams, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell called the plans to keep the three teams in their current cities “inadequate.” That basically means the cities wouldn’t buy a new stadium for their team.

Late Hit: The Cincinnati Bengals came from behind in a dirty game last night only to lose 18-16 to Pittsburgh because two Bengals players committed personal fouls on the same play with 22 seconds left. A foul on the next play put Pittsburgh in easy field goal range and that was it. The Cincinnati fans took part in the unnecessary roughness, throwing bottles at Pittsburgh players.

January White Sale: The camo cowboys who’ve taken over the headquarters of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon have issued a wish list of food and goods they want supporters to donate. We can’t list them all, so we’ll just pick the ones that make them look like idiots: Marlboro lights, Copenhagen chewing tobaccy, tampons, slippers, brats, bed sheets both twin and queen sized, French vanilla creamer, Miracle Whip, throw rugs, and boxer shorts medium, large, and extra large. Toilet paper is not on the list. And what kind of revolutionary trying to overthrow the US government would admit to needing anything less that extra large boxer shorts?

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Thursday, November 14, 2024

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It's Been Said

"Christians, get out and vote, just this time. You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what, it will be fixed, it will be fine, you won't have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians. I love you Christians. I'm a Christian. I love you, get out, you gotta get out and vote. In four years, you don't have to vote again, we'll have it fixed so good you're not going to have to vote."

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