JP Morgan to Pay Billions, Grand Slam
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Vol.2, No. 296
Money, Money: JP Morgan Chase is considering a record $13 billion settlement with the Justice Department over its sale of bad mortgage securities. If it goes through, it would be the largest such settlement in US history. The settlement would include $11 billion in penalties and $4 billion in relief for struggling homeowners. The bank has already been fined $1 billion in the infamous “London Whale” case involving market manipulation and bad financial bets. This latest settlement would not end a criminal investigation of the bank.
Obamacare: The administration says 476,000 health insurance applications have been filed through federal and state exchanges. It’s the first figure to be released since the exchanges opened Oct. 1. But the administration did not release what should be a larger number of people who merely enrolled in the markets. That would give a measure of whether the markets are on track to reach the 7 million people projected to buy coverage during the initial six-month signup period.
World: A suicide bomber in the Syrian City of Hama today blew up a truck on a busy road, killing at least 30 people and injuring dozens more. Suicides bombers are putting a new wrinkle in Syria’s civil war. Yesterday a suicide bomber hit an army checkpoint and killed 16 soldiers.
National: The two Florida murderers who escaped from prison with phony paperwork have been re-captured. Joseph Jenkins and Charles Walker were found at the Coconut Grove Motor Inn in Panama City Beach.
>Demonstrators carrying rifles marched on the Alamo in Texas yesterday to show their right to carry long weapons in public. Texas law allows a person to carry a rifle or shotgun in the open, but not a concealed handgun without a permit. Gun right advocates are pushing to allow those with concealed-carry permits to openly carry a handgun on the hip.
Boys of October: Boston’s Shane Victorino hit a grand slam in the bottom of the 7th inning to put the Red Sox into the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals. Game 1 is Wednesday in Boston, which should allow the series to conclude before Christmas.
Church and State: Diane Reidy, the House stenographer who was hauled from the floor screaming about God and how the Freemasons wrote the Constitution, has issued an explanation. God asked her to do it. According to a statement Fox News says it obtained from Reidy, “For the past 2 and 1/2 weeks, the Holy Spirit has been waking me up in the middle of the night and preparing me through my reluctance and doubt to deliver a message in the House Chamber. That is what I did last night.”
Nearer My Price to Thee: The violin played by the bandmaster to comfort passengers as the Titanic sank, sold at auction in London yesterday for $1.45 million. It was sold to a British collector bidding over the phone. The violin was found strapped to musician Wallace Hartley’s floating body and bears the inscription from his fiancée, “For Wallace, on the occasion of our engagement. From Maria.”
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