Israel Pounds Gaza, Brazil in Shock
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Vol. 3, No. 190
Israel: Dozens of people have been killed in Gaza as Hamas and Israel trade a flurry of fire. Hamas is firing longer-range rockets into Israel, falling near Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. At least 117 rockets hit Israel yesterday, one of them with the unprecedented range of 80 miles. The military says it shot down eight rockets over Tel Aviv. In response, Israel is pounding Hamas and Gaza, hitting 550 targets over the past several days. Both Hamas leaders and civilians have been killed.
Futebol: Germany stunned Brazil in the World Cup, scoring five goals in the first 29 minutes of the match. Brazilian fans were open-mouthed in shock and some were crying. One of the television announcers said that if it was a boxing match, the referee would stop the fight. Germany ended up scoring the most goals in a World Cup semifinal and host country Brazil was humiliated 1-7. The defeat was greeted like a national crisis with violence in the streets. The Brazilian coach said, “I think it was the worst day of my life.”
Border Wars: President Obama shocked Congress with a request for $3.7 billion to deal with the immigration crisis, nearly double what the White House previously indicated would be the request. A flood of unaccompanied children has overwhelmed the staff and federal facilities.
The White House said the money would go to facilities and taking care of the children, speeding the removal of adults with children, and prosecuting the smuggler networks. The President is squeezed between political forces that want to crack down on illegal immigration, and advocates who want to reduce deportations.
The return of unaccompanied minors to their home countries is also hindered by a well-meant law passed late in the last Bush administration, intended to cut down on child trafficking. The kids are supposed to be cared for, represented and given due process. They can’t just be put on a plane, according to the law.
Bananistan: Afghan presidential candidate Abdullah Abdullah claims he’s the true winner of the election in which his opponent is credited with a wide margin of votes. Abdullah and his followers say the election was stolen in a massive fraud. Abdullah barely missed winning a majority in the first round, but somehow sank in the runoff to 43.56%. against 56.44% for Ashraf Ghani.
Iraq: Security forces have found the bodies of 53 men south of Baghdad, bound and executed. The current civil conflict is unusually brutal, even for Iraq.
Emerald City: Seattle’s first recreational marijuana store opened yesterday. Some people waited 24 hours for Cannabis City to open its doors as four marijuana stores opened in Washington State. The state has authorized 334 marijuana shops with 21 in Seattle. As if they need it.
People Who Need People: Silicone bombshell Pamela Anderson is divorcing husband Rick Salomon ….. for the second time. Apparently she didn’t mean it the first time. Anderson previously married and divorced rockers Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Salomon is also divorced from actresses Shannen Doherty (3) and Elizabeth Daily (1). His claim to fame: Salomon was co-star in the Paris Hilton home pornflick, “1 Night in Paris.” Is there, like, some bar where these people meet and marry each other? Oh, it’s Los Angeles.
The Full Cleveland: The Republican party has chosen Cleveland as the site for its 2016 national convention. The uniform: white shoes and patent leather belts with red and white hounds tooth polyester pants. The Young Americans will provide entertainment.
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Abdullah Abdulla Afghan Elections Ashraf Ghani Brazil Cannabis City Cleveland Elizabeth Daily Gaza Germany Hamas Illegal immigration Iraq Isaraeli air strikes Israel Kid Rock Legal Marijuana Pamela Anderson Republican convention Rick Salomon Seattle Shannen Doherty Sunni militants Tommy Lee World Cup
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