The Nerd Prom: President Trump, who hates the press, skipped the annual White House Correspondent’s Dinner for the second time last night and held a political rally in Michigan.

Back in Washington he was roasted by comedian Michelle Wolf, who opened with a bang saying, “Like a porn star says when she’s about to have sex with the president, let’s get this over with.”

She went on, “Trump isn’t here. I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the president of the United States is the one pussy you’re not allowed to drag.”

Speaking in Washington Township, Mich., Trump told a faithful crowd that if Congress doesn’t pay for his border wall, he’ll shut down the government. “We have to have borders, and we have to have them fast,” he said. “And we need security. We need the wall. We’re going to have it all. And again, that wall has started. We got 1.6 billion. We come up again on September 28th, and if we don’t get border security, we’ll have no choice. We’ll close down the country because we need border security.”

Sooooo … if he doesn’t get what he wants to secure the country, he’ll close down the government that secures the country.

Back in the other Washington, Michelle Wolf said, “”It’s 2018, and I’m a woman so you cannot shut me up. Unless you have Michael Cohen wire me $130,000.”

It’s Political: President Trump called for the resignation of Montana’s Democratic Sen. John Tester, who was instrumental in killing the nomination of White House Dr. Ronny Jackson to run the Veterans Affairs Administration.

Trump tweeted, “Allegations made by Senator Jon Tester against Admiral/Doctor Ron Jackson are proving false. The Secret Service is unable to confirm (in fact they deny) any of the phony Democrat charges which have absolutely devastated the wonderful Jackson family. Tester should resign.”

Trump also suggested there will be political repercussions for Tester.

Tester made no allegations of his own. He released accusations of misbehavior by Jackson from about 20 people who communicated with the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee. Trump also ignores opposition  to Jackson that came from senators in his own party.

The White House says it has looked into the Jackson matter and denies that he ever wrecked a government car while drunk, or that he liberally handed out prescription drugs to White House staffers.

Jackson won’t head the VA, but this thing still has life.

The Kimchi Disarmament: The NY Times reports this morning that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un told the president of the South that he would give up his nuclear weapons if the US agrees to a formal end to the Korean War and promises not to invade.

Kim is also reported to have said that he would invite experts and journalists to witness the shutdown of his country’s only nuclear test site.

Korea experts caution that while all this sounds great, Kim and his father before him have previously broken disarmament promises.

The Obit Page: The Rev. James Cone, the founder of what’s known as Black Liberation Theology, has died at age 79. In his book, Black Theology & Black Power, he made an argument for “God’s radical identification with black people in the United States,” according to a statement on his death from New York’s Union Theological Seminary,  where he worked for many years before his death yesterday.

To explain it simply, Cone bumped aside the white domination of theology and said it was for black Americans as well. Cone said that Black Liberation Theology is a belief that God is concerned with the poorest and weakest people. In most cases, he said, those people are black. — Larry Harvey, who built a giant wooden figure on a beach then burned it to the ground, beginning the counterculture whacknut celebration in the Nevada desert known as “Burning Man,” has died at age 70 in San Francisco.

Burning man has become an annual bacchanal of artistry, drug consumption, and naked parades attended by 70,000 people. At the end of the festival they burn a giant wooden statue of a man with thousands of attendees chanting “Burn the man!”

It’s an anti-consumerist, anti-corporate festival. “If all your self-worth and esteem is invested in how much you consume, how many likes you get or other quantifiable measures,” Harvey The Atlantic in 2014, “the desire to simply possess things trumps our ability or capability to make moral connections with people around us.”

Enigma Brand: The hip thing among celebrities these days is to have a liquor brand. George Clooney and Rande Gerber, who is Mr. Cindy Crawford, got even richer with their Casamigos tequila. P. Diddy has a vodka lemonade, and Willie Nelson has a bourbon, although why it’s not a branded marijuana we don’t know.

The latest to enter the game is Bob Dylan, who’s about to introduce a line of whiskey, bourbon, and rye called “Heaven’s Door.” Knock, knock, knockin’. Dylan told The NY Times in a statement, “I’ve been traveling for decades, and I’ve been able to try some of the best spirits that the world of whiskey has to offer. This is great whiskey.”

You’ll love his whiskey, but you won’t understand it.

-30-