—From Pilot Knob, NY.

Nation: Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, 73, the longest serving Republican speaker, has been charged with lying to the FBI and violating banking laws while making $1.7 million in payoffs to an unnamed person he’s known most of his life.

The indictment says only that Hastert was making payments to “Individual A” to compensate for and cover up Hastert’s past misconduct toward that person. The indictment does not say what the misconduct was, but it may go all the way back to his pre-political life as a teacher and high school wrestling coach in Yorkville, Ill. Hastert was supposed to pay a total of $3.5 million.

Red Card: The world soccer organization FIFA is voting today in the midst of an international corruption scandal on whether to give its President Sepp Blatter a fifth term in office. Officers of soccer’s governing body have been accused of selling their support for television deals, sponsorships, and the location of the World Cup tournament. So far Blatter has not been touched. He said this week, “We, or I, cannot monitor everyone all of the time. If people want to do wrong, they will also try to hide it.”

The Gathering Crowd: Former New York Gov. George Pataki yesterday declared himself a candidate for President, joining 17 other Republicans, some you’ve never heard of. Dale Christensen? John Dummett, Jr.?

Pataki was governor during the 9/11 attacks. He’s a little different for a Republican. He favors abortion rights and as governor pushed to protect the rights of gays and lesbians. But he’s in line with other Republicans when it comes to trimming big government. He also supports sending troops back to Iraq to fight the Islamic State.

Scratch My Back: The NY Times reports an interesting story that Bill Clinton accepted a “Lifetime Achievement” award from the school-building charity run by model Petra Nemcova in exchange for a $500,000 donation to the Clinton Foundation. Nemcova, who survived the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami clinging to a palm tree, threw a 10-year anniversary event to raise money for her “Happy Hearts Fund.” A quarter of the proceeds went to the Clinton Foundation in exchange for Bill showing up, the Times reports.

The Obit Page: Morris Wilkins, whose heart-shaped bathtubs made the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania into an East Coast honeymoon destination, has died in Las Vegas at age 90. Wilkins hit it big during World War II when gasoline shortages in New York and Philadelphia made the nearby Poconos an attractive destination for newlyweds. Today, the hotels he founded, Cove Haven, Pocono Palace, and Paradise Dreams, have 437 heart-shaped tubs and 135 seven-foot champagne-glass tubs. The Philadelphia Daily News said in 2000, “Morris Wilkins has done more for romance than a box of chocolates.”

New Flavor: Ice cream impresario Ben Cohen of “Ben & Jerry’s” (Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia) is campaigning to get money out of politics called “The Stamp Stampede.” Cohen says, “I can’t outspend the big political donors whose influence is corrupting our political system.” So he’s encouraging Americans to stamp dollar bills with the message, “Stamp Money Out Of Politics—Amend the Constitution.” You can get your stamp for $10 from Moveon.org.

Common Knowledge: The National Spelling Bee ended in a tie for the second year in a row last night. Gokul Venkatachalam, 14, of Chesterfield, Mo. didn’t even ask the definition of “nunatak,” Inuit for a glacier ridge. Vanya Shivashankar, of Olathe, Kan., correctly spelled “scherenschnitte,” which is the art of cutting paper into decorative designs. These kids need to go out and play.

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