Pandemic Politics: Just after midnight, Congress finally reached agreement on a $2 trillion pandemic bailout bill that includes the Democratic demands for stronger protections for workers and oversight of a $500 billion fund to bail out distressed businesses.

  The intent is to deliver financial support to businesses forced to close and relief to families and hospitals getting financially crushed during the crisis. 

  Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said, “At last, we have a deal. In effect, this is a wartime level of investment into our nation.”

  The bill is several hundred billion dollars more than the entire annual federal budget. Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said, “This is not a moment of celebration, but one of necessity.”

  As the deal looked close yesterday, the Dow Jones took a 2,112 point leap and futures are up again today as investors look forward to the cash injection into the economy.

The Light Between the Ears: Even as the other countries announce total lockdowns for their population, President Trump announced yesterday during a Fox News appearance that he would like to get the country back up and running by Easter, which falls on April 12^th.

  “I think it’s possible, why not?” Trump said with a shrug. While the numbers of sick and dead continue on a sharp upward trajectory, Trump expressed outrage about having to “close the country” and indicated that his guidelines on business shutdowns and social distancing would soon be lifted. “I gave it two weeks,” Trump said. “We can socially distance ourselves and go to work.”

  Answering questions from the press, epidemiologist Dr. Anthony Fauci said, “You can look at a date, but you got to be very flexible and a literally day by day and week by week basis.” In other words, he thinks the President is crazy and can’t control him.

  Speaking to an interviewer, Microsoft Founder Bill Gates said, “It’s very tough to say to people, ‘Hey, keep going to restaurants, go buy new houses, ignore that pile of bodies over in the corner. We want you to keep spending because there’s maybe a politician who thinks GDP growth is all that counts.’”

  In his afternoon briefing, Trump said he could “see the light at the end of the tunnel,” an expression that ended up being an embarrassment to US politicians during the Vietnam War.

  The President reverted to a comparison to the flu and car accidents, which kill thousands of Americans every year. He said, “We don’t turn the country off” for the flu and nobody orders the auto companies to stop making cars.

He also said that more people die of automobile accidents, but nobody forces car companies to stop manufacturing vehicles.

  Asked who suggested Easter as a target date, Trump said, “I Just thought it was a beautiful time, a beautiful timeline. It’s a great day.”

The Numbers: Prince Charles and the President of Harvard announced they have been infected as the worldwide pandemic rose to 425,000 cases and 19,000 deaths.

  Overnight, the number of coronavirus dead in the US jumped by more 200, now at 802. More than 55,000 people in the US have been diagnosed, up by 9,000 just since yesterday.

  Nearly 25 percent of the deaths in this country have been in New York City. Overall, New York State has had 26,000 infections and 271 deaths. 

A New York Minute: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo finally blew his stack yesterday after the state received only  400 ventilators from the federal government. 

  “‘We’re sending 400 ventilators,’” Cuomo said in a moment of heat. “Really? What am I going to do with 400 ventilators when I need 30,000? You pick the 26,000 people who are going to die because you only sent 400 ventilators.”

  He said the number of cases in New York is doubling every three days.

  Cuomo demanded that president Trump use the defense Procurement Act to order businesses to make ventilators. He said, “The President said, ‘It’s a war.’ It is a war. Well then act like it’s a war and it’s not anti-business.”

  Trump has said he doesn’t need to order private businesses to do what he claims they are already doing to meet the demand. “I am working very hard to help New York City & State,” Trump tweeted. “Fake News that I won’t help them because I don’t like Cuomo (I do). Just sent 4000 ventilators!”

The Obit Page: Terrence McNally, the prolific playwright who wrote “Kiss of the Spider Woman” and “Ragtime,” has died at age 81. McNally, who won four Tony Awards, also wrote “Love! Valour! Compassion!” and “Master Class,” 

Flame Out: The 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympics were postponed yesterday until 2021, although they say it will still be called the 2020 games.  

The Living Dead: The Washington Post carried a fascinating article describing the coronavirus as “little more than a packet of genetic material surrounded by a spiky protein shell one-thousandth the width of an eyelash, and leads such a zombielike existence that it’s barely considered a living organism.”

 The story says, “ There is a certain evil genius to how this coronavirus pathogen works: It finds easy purchase in humans without them knowing. Before its first host even develops symptoms, it is already spreading its replicas everywhere, moving onto its next victim. It is powerfully deadly in some but mild enough in others to escape containment. And, for now, we have no way of stopping it.”

Don Juan at the Rialto: The social virus known as Woody Allen, who married his wife’s daughter, reveals in his new memoir that he dated actress Diane Keaton and both of her sisters. “The three Keaton sisters were all beautiful, wonderful women,” he wrote.

 He also notes that the sisters’ mother was “great-looking,” but evidently he has his limits.

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