Trump Reverses on Cuba, Suicide by Text

We’re Back: And we have returned with a whole new appreciation for the semi-colon.

No Cigar: In a speech whipping up the Cuban-American political base in South Florida, President Trump announced that he is cancelling much of the Obama administration’s loosening of trade and travel relations with Cuba.

Trump said, “The outcome of the last administration’s executive action has only been more repression and an effort to crush the peaceful democratic movement. Therefore, effective immediately, I am cancelling the last administration’s completely one-sided deal with Cuba.”

He’s not doing everything he says. Travel will remain looser … you can still get there with a guided tour … and trade will continue. The US Embassy will remain open.

Trump laid out what are likely impossible conditions for normal relations, including the release of all political prisoners, the return of US fugitives, legalization of political dissent, and internationally-supervised free elections.

US/Cuban relations have warmed and cooled ever since the Castro revolution. Some American presidents have tried to open relations while others, trying to look tough, have stuck to the hard line. The amazing thing is that Cubans still love us, although they must think we are crazy.

Collision at Sea: Seven US sailors are missing after and American destroyer collided with a container ship off the coast of Japan early this morning. The USS Fitzgerald, a guided missile destroyer, sustained heavy damage to its starboard superstructure and was taking on water.

Manslaughter by Text: A Massachusetts women who as a teenager convinced her boyfriend to commit suicide has been found guilty of the unique charge of involuntary manslaughter through electronic messages. Michelle Carter, 20, was just 17 when she urged 18-year-old Conrad Roy in a series of phone calls and text messages to take his own life to relieve his depression.

Roy eventually killed himself with carbon monoxide in his pickup. Although suicide is considered a solitary act, the judge who heard the case without a jury ruled that Carter acted with reckless disregard when Roy got out of the truck and she told him to get back in, as if Carter was actually there. The case has the potential to make new law in the digital age.

Death by Cop: The Minnesota police officer who shot and killed black motorist Philando Castile last July, has been found not guilty of second-degree manslaughter. Off. Jeronimo Yanez said he thought Castile was reaching for a gun. Yanez has been fired.

Tower of London: The death toll in the London apartment building fire is now up to 30. It could rise to 70 as investigators slowly go through the units. Building residents are complaining that the government response to help them has been slow.

Organic Avocados: Amazon has agreed to buy Whole Foods for $13.4 billion, a price that’s in line with their groceries. Ironically, the company that broke ground by having no stores, is now into buying a business with buildings. Amazon wants to grow its grocery delivery business.

The Obit Page: Former Chancellor Helmut Kohl, who re-unified the two Germanys at the end of the Cold War, has died at age 87. Kohl was chancellor for 16 years, longer than any leader since Bismarck.

At the end of World War II, Kohl was a 15-year-old member of the Hitler Youth. He grew to become a powerhouse politician who convinced Europe to allow Germany to become one country again.

Editor’s Note: In a fog of anesthesia, Oxycodone, and Tylenol over the past week, we suffered fever dreams that the President of the United States called a cabinet meeting inviting all the members to praise his accomplishments — and they did. We had frightening visions that after a terror attack in London, the President got into a spat with the Mayor of London, accusing the mayor of saying something he didn’t. Our mind created twitter messages in which the President ranted about the fake media and “Crooked Hillary” eight months after the election. Our fantasies led us to believe that even after the assurances of former FBI Director James Comey, President Trump really is under investigation. We had a nightmare that, even after a Republican congressman was shot by a nut with a gun, Republicans are still against keeping guns out of the hands of nuts.

We are just grateful that, now that we are off drugs, none of this was real and that we never developed opioid-induced constipation.

Monday, December 23, 2024

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It's Been Said

"Christians, get out and vote, just this time. You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what, it will be fixed, it will be fine, you won't have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians. I love you Christians. I'm a Christian. I love you, get out, you gotta get out and vote. In four years, you don't have to vote again, we'll have it fixed so good you're not going to have to vote."

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