May 7, 20296

DIRE STRAITS: As the US awaits Iran’s response to a peace proposal, one Iranian official dismissed it as a “list of American wishes” while another said the offer was under consideration.

  Both governments have officials giving conflicting messages on what’s happening. Yesterday on social media President Trump threatened renewed attacks “at a much higher level and intensity.”Then hours later he said there had been “very good talks” with Iran and that, “We’re in good shape, and now we’re doing well, and we have to get what we have to get.”

  Trump claimed yesterday that Iran has already agreed to give up hopes of having a nuclear weapon. He also said any deal would have to include Iran handing over its enriched uranium.

  In his Truth Social post Trump said, “Assuming Iran agrees to give what has been agreed to, which is, perhaps, a big assumption, the already legendary Epic Fury will be at an end, and the highly effective Blockade will allow the Hormuz Strait to be OPEN TO ALL, including Iran.” 

  The temporary ceasefire is holding … technically. Yesterday an American fighter jet disabled the rudder of an Iranian oil tanker that was attempting to break through the American blockade on Iranian ports.

RACIAL LINES: Tennessee Republicans have drawn up a new congressional district map that carves up Memphis, which comprises the only Democrat-held seat in the state. This comes after last week’s Supreme Court decision that cut the legs off the 1965 Voting Rights Act that brought Black members of Congress to Washington.

  The new map makes all of Tennessee’s districts likely to go Republican, and white. 

THE EPSTEIN FAREWELL: A federal judge released a purported suicide note written by the sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein before a first and unsuccessful attempt at suicide in jail back in 2019.The note is said to have been found by a fellow inmate in the pages of a book.

  In barely legible handwriting the note says:

 “They investigated me for 

month — FOUND NOTHING!!!

So 15 year old charges resulted 

It is a treat to be able to choose one’s 

time to say goodbye

“Watcha want me to do — Bust out cryin!!” the note reads.

“NO FUN,” it concludes,  “NOT WORTH IT!!”

  Epstein was found dead in his cell weeks later, his death ruled a suicide.

INFINITE SCROLL:

— A federal judge rejected a request to order the return of more than 600 boxes of 2020 voting records seized earlier this year by the FBI for an investigation involving Fulton County, Georgia and Donald Trump’s claims that the 2020 election was rigged against him.

  US District Judge JP Boulee, however,  called the investigation’s, reliance on debunked conspiracy theories, “troubling.”

— US Border Czar Tom Homan this week promised that, “Mass deportations are coming.” Speaking at the Border Security Expo in Phoenix, Homan said, “You ain’t seen shit yet.” 

THE OBIT PAGE: The inventive and outspoken Ted Turner, “The Mouth from the South” who created CNN and the 24-hour news cycle, died at home yesterday near Tallahassee at age 87. He had the degenerative disease, Lewy body dementia.

  Turner turned the advertising business he inherited from his father into a media empire and with CNN he created a news enterprise that changed the delivery of news itself. With the Persian Gulf War, CNN was the first to cover a war on live television.

  He founded CNN Headline News, CNN International, cable and satellite sports and entertainment “superstation” that became known as TBS and spun off the sister channel, TNT, both of which continue to reach millions of homes.

  For $1.5 billion Turner bought the MGM  library of movies and nine years later created the cable franchise Turner Classic Movies. 

  He was an excellent sailor, skippering his 12-meter yacht Courageous to victory in the 1977 America’s Cup series.

  He owned the Atlanta Braves baseball team.

  There isn’t space here to recap everything Turner did. He was a bold risk-taking, drunken cigar-smoking, womanizing blowhard with a streak of do-gooder in him. He was married three times, the last notably to actress Jane Fonda.

  In 1995 Turner sold much of his holdings to Time Warner for $7.5 billion. He pursued charitable and environmental causes, including buying 1.3 million acres of ranch land and amassing a herd of 12,000 buffalo.

  “There’s a lot of people who are awash in money they don’t know what to do with,” Turner told interviewer Larry King on CNN.  “It doesn’t do you any good if you don’t know what to do with it. I have learned the more good that I did, the more money comes in. You have to learn to give. You’re not born as a giver. You’re born selfish.”

THE SPIN RACK: Answering growing inline commentary, Senator Susan Collins of Maine announced that she has had a benign tremor for the entire 29 years that she has served in Washington. It’s always been obvious in her voice and evidently not an impediment, but an election year is coming up and so does the dirt. — Former New York Mayor and Trump acolyte Rudy Giuliani says that the pneumonia that put him in the hospital and a history respiratory trouble is the result exposure to the World Trade Center rubble after the 9/11 attacks. He is applying for free medical care through the federal program for emergency workers and others exposed to toxins at the Trade Center site. 

BELOW THE FOLD: Pope Leo, the first American pope, who comes from Chicago, recently called his bank back home to update his address and contact information. 

  Leo gave his name as Robert Prevost. He answered all the security questions correctly but was told by the bank employee that he would have to come in personally to change his records. Leo said he would not be able to do that then asked, ““Would it matter to you if I told you I’m Pope Leo?”

  The bank employee hung up.

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