National: The Dow Jones closed above 14,000 for the first time in five years on encouraging news about jobs and corporate earnings.

• A suicide bomber detonated an explosive vest killing a Turkish guard at the American Embassy in Ankara yesterday, raising new concerns about embassy security. This came just as Hillary Clinton resigned as Secretary of State, passing the baton to longtime Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry.
• As many as 60 students have been at least temporarily kicked out of Harvard in an enormous cheating scandal stemming from a “take home” exam in a government class last spring. The professor noticed many of the exams were similar, even though students had been told to work alone.

Spring Break: Before a crowd of 35,000, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning, predicting an early spring.

World: To cheers of “Vive La France”, French President Francois Hollande visited the remote Malian city of Timbuktu, which was liberated from Islamist rebels by French soldiers only a week ago.

News About the News: A new look is coming to the Cable News Network as new executive Jeff Zucker gives the place a facial. CNN has taken big names Jake Tapper and Chris Cuomo from ABC News. Look to the aggressive Tapper to try to replace Anderson Cooper as the Face Of The Network. Political analysts James Carville and Mary Matalin have been shown the door. The deep voice of James Earl Jones … “This is CNN” … has returned as station identifier. Political wiz John King and Soledad O’Brien could come up seatless in the game of musical anchor chairs.

Never Happen Here: A Japanese pop star shaved her head in contrition after having been caught sleeping with her boyfriend. She posted a weeping apology video on the Internet. Twenty-year-old Minami Minegishi is part of the 90-girl troupe known as “AKB48” who appear in teams in theatre, television and advertising productions.  Their act is a particularly Japanese form of virginal cuteness known as “Kawaii”. The girls are not allowed to date, let alone get snapped by a tabloid photog doing the walk of shame in the morning.

Passing: Barney, the Scottish terrier who spent eight years in The White House with owner George W. Bush has died. The former president said Barney was a faithful friend and “he never discussed politics.”

Oh, Brother: Among the nicknames we have collected for the upcoming Harbaugh brothers Super Bowl coaching clash are: Bro-Bowl, Bra-Bowl, The Har-Bowl, The Super-Baugh and the Super Bro-wl.

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